I have always been worried about having to respond to a small child or a baby that has died. Recently this happened and It was a very difficult experience although the parents were going through so many emotions at once and I felt so bad for them. Having the privilege to help even in some small way honors me.

When I was in the room with the small child and the parents tears fell down both cheeks although I did not sob or make any sound but I did stand there and cry, I cried for the little girl and I cried for the family, I cried for the loss of the mother and father and I prayed to God in the moment as many others were also doing in the room.

The beautiful little girl had an accident and on that day there were no words to make things better or solve anything and that is not why a chaplain is called, we don’t solve problems although we can be there with you. The mother and father had quite a bit of family with them to support them and I was grateful for that.

When a death occurs your mind is in shock and often you try and place blame or ask yourself what you could have done differently to prevent the accident, suicide or overdose and placing blame is not productive. It is not going to help the situation so being supportive and holding their hand or doing their dishes or taking out their trash will help. You can’t help them get over something like this because you never get over it. The pain comes and goes and gets worse and sometimes is not so bad. Remembering them how they were and the music they liked is productive.

I have responded so many deaths and each one is different and I see the love that the family and neighbors have for those that have died. I see and hear the experiences they had with them. I pray while I am with them that they may have comfort and love with them. May God be with this little Girl and protect her and may God be with the parents and family members to help them as well.

Chaplain Love serves on the Salt Lake City Police Department as well as at the VECC 911 center and with Unified Police as a volunteer Chaplain.