MANDT Training notes – Larry Love SAT 8/17/13 (8 hour class) Taught by Perry Garzo

People skills, behavior management, Principles, concepts, what is expected, everything is practical, how to apply, in 2 weeks we will discuss how to handle people in a physical way without harming them or yourself. Recertification every year so 11 months from now is best. How to manage people when they get upset. The more upset you get the less intelligent you are. You also can’t see as well when your upset you lose part of your peripheral vision. (lose 30 degrees of vision) Wait your turn to speak and listen. All listening is attending. Model appropriate behavior because all of us are ongoing examples. Do not make fun of co-workers because the clients will model this behavior.

I just typed the notes so understand they are not exactly in order but they were a mess and then I just typed them out.

Perfection is a direction of travel not a state of being

Treat all people with dignity and respect and manage yourself first.

Most of us are co-dependent and will put up with allot so the standard of treating others as we would want to be treated is not a standard to live by.

The golden rule squared or on steroids is to treat others as you would demand your loved ones be treated.

It’s about relationships – Emotional, Mental , Physical and Spiritual Trust, commitment, loyalty, fun, consistency, stability, well rounded and balanced, communication patience, praise, safe, friendship, respect, dignity, empathy, love, fairness, equity, understanding, justice, open minded, sympathy, affection, sincerity, acceptance, teamwork, honesty, compromise, humor, courage, listen, approval, appreciation. (Pick some of these you could live without) (NO keep them all )

RADAR – Recognize, Assess,Decide (plan), Act (Implement), Review (followup)

Be aware how to make things better

OVER CONTROL HURTS RELATIONSHIPS

Guidance, Assistance, Protection and Direction. HAVE A GOAL – Know what our affect is on others. Recognize and validate Emotions and feelings of others and encourage expression. Teamwork.

10. Special 9. Lift Carry and Lower / LCL 8. Support / Restraint 7. Accompany / Escort 6. Physical Touch 5. Verbal and non verbal 4. Lift carry lower 3. Body Position (to the side is normally best) 2. Physical Presence 1. Philosophy / attitude

Choose the least intrusive action that you can

Know the rules, consistent and genuine Make a choice, take a chance or never change HAVE CLEAR ROLES, GOALS AND BOUNDERIES WHAT IS MY ROLE: Father, Teacher, Religious Leader, Emotions verces behavior – Emotions are not problems but behavior can be. Cope with anger Acceptance approval and appreciation

Maslow’s Theory Lower level needs have to be met first or the other steps cannot be met. Interestingly enough if you get to the top and some of the lower needs are not met many times you don't fall like when you are on a lower level.

TOP – Self Actualization (This is when you turn your time to others ) This is not being co-dependent this is very different although service is involved. Buddha and Christ come to mind. Personal Achievement – Job – School – Sports Relationship Safety and Security Survival- Food, Water and Shelter (These needs should be met before others can be dealt with) A child in school who has problems at home may not be able to even think about grades until other needs are met first.

Humor Reduces stress – Humor is a mechanism to deal with stress but proper humor should be used only laugh with someone but we should not laugh at them. Be on the same team. Don’t make fun of others. Your ego can’t take a joke. Don’t make fun of others. Sarcasm should be used very selectively. We are not against them and we are always role modeling. Be aware of the negative SAY : I didn’t say I told my friend (Now say this placing emphasis on the first word then try it again placing emphasis on the second word then the third and you can get several different meanings from one sentence. ) 7% of communication comes from WORDS – 55% is what we SEE and 38% is from Vocal Quality, Tone, Pitch, Resonance, Breath speed, volume and inflection. This is why you can get mixed messages when talking on the phone because you can miss what you don’t see. IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT THE DOMINENT THOUGHT IN YOUR MIND

Stick Rock GUN BOMB Fight – Flight or Freeze YOU messages PUT DOWN I feel _____________________________ When we try to get someone to do something even as simple as brushing their teeth we need to keep a positive dominant thought in our minds. ( I want you to brush so your teeth don’t rot and so you don’t have to go to the dentist for painful visits) This dominant thought is to help them so you are on their side.

Antecedent – Behavior and Consequence

Do not power Struggle

Stimulation/Trigger(Huh) / / Escalation(Fix it) // CRISIS (Freak out) //De Escalation (cool down) // Act Remove Trigger – Offer options – During Crisis safety first least amount of interaction During cool down – structured cooling down

Next: Stabilization (talk) (coming out of bedroom phase) // Post Crisis ( Observation and support) Recharge batteries

THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN MANAGE IS YOURSELF Active listening – Eye Contact – Body Orientation (ALWAYS USE THEIR NAME ) Aristotle-

What I hear is that you are being strong because….

Personal Space – how close is too close

When your made your personal space bubble is larger and it is egg shaped so in the front it is larger than the side.

HANDS TO YOURSELF – PLEASE WALK

If you say DON’T RUN they think of RUN if you say please WALK they think if Walking ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT NOT TO STOP WHAT YOU DON’T WANT

MEET THE NEED – What do they want and what do they need? Do they need to feel safe? How can you help meet that need? Do they need to feel that someone is listening to them? Listen

Safe and Secure --- Who , What , When, Back, Where

This is the way I feel because…. Take Responsibility Overwhelmed

Get the emotional need met frist

Feel Felt found

Get to know them and respect them